A Look That Lingers...

I am fortunate in that I find people interesting and watch with intent, looking for myself and something I can relate to.  I prefer to think of it as voyeurism as I always tend to do a bit more than observe, I tend to attach feelings to faces and memories to glances.  Some people think of themselves as people watchers, I tend to believe that most of those types of people look for things that don’t make sense or appear wrong, maybe something to laugh, or maybe just curiosity.  I’m looking for things I recognize and hope for and understand.  I don’t think there is necessarily a right or a wrong way to observe, the very act of paying attention seems like enough…

The day before yesterday, I sat in a local Austin eatery enjoying some Mexican food and appreciating the eclectic crowd and all that it offered a man so bent on soaking everything in.  The table next to me was occupied by two men obviously from New York based on their accents, who spoke of their trip to Austin and the desire to return.  Of the two men, one was younger with less to say, almost as if he was somewhere else, not at all focusing on the content or intent of the conversation at hand.  A good looking man with an air of confidence, and almost a quizzical look on his face, as if to say “Who are you?”

I scan the restaurant, and she wasn’t as easy as I thought she would be to spot.  Beyond a few tables, one is large group of boisterous young girls, to a corner where two women sat alone and whispered intently, inches away from one another’s faces, deeply intent on sharing information that was only intended for the two of them.  Was it a lover they spoke of?  Could it be a feud among concerned friends?  The woman in this mans vision was a lovely brunette in very casual clothes but a pleasant smile and a look that said she was funny with very little or no effort.

I watched him fight for her glance, as though he needed it to survive.  He shifted in his chair, seeming to make big motions as if to catch her attention, just sort of waving his hands over his head as if to say, "Please look over here".  I was completely engaged in his plight and almost thought of helping him out by dropping a plate between our two tables, just in hopes that she might glance over.  It wasn’t working as she was buried in a conversation with her friend that had her giggling and laughing and whispering loudly, as I imagined she did during late sleepovers with her friends as a very young girl.

At the very moment he lost hope and resigned back to the conversation at hand, re-engaging with his business partner, she looked up and glanced around and found him, but for only a second.  I waited for it, and I waited for it, and there it was…she looked at him again.  A long lingering look.  I glanced back and forth, waiting for him to look at her and when he finally did, she had already gone back to talking with her friend.  I thought about the look he gave her and the look she gave him, forgetting about my lunch or my time schedule. A long lingering look and all it holds.  Is it attraction by itself?  Is it want or need?  Maybe it’s a hope for validation?  It could just be our need to make a human connection and an understanding.  Maybe it’s as simple as attraction and a need to know more.  I truly believe that more can be said with eye contact, in just a moment, than a mouth can utter in a life time.

The man and his partner signal for the bill…he looks again for her because he has to.  If you have ever truly wanted for a moment like this, you can see it from a mile away.  He is literally reaching with his eyes to find her.  She looks up and immediately, I can feel it, a connection is made.  I can tell by the look on her face she wasn’t expecting to find him with a look on his face that said so much.  She looks a bit aghast and almost taken back, yet totally taken in.  They literally stare at each other, across a few tables, with no real intent other than enjoying each others gaze for a bit longer.  Her friend notices and turns to looks at the man but he doesn’t notice the friend at all, nor does he notice that the bill has arrived at the table, and he did not hear his business partner ask if he was going to pick up the tab.  A long lingering look that held so much more than even I could relay in this story.

She fights to not smile; he couldn’t stop himself if he tried.  He smiles sheepishly and recklessly.  Finally a hint of a blush, and a small grin and she looks away, turning towards her friend who is grinning from ear to ear.  He listens to his partner complain about picking up yet another check and he reassures him, I swear the next one is on me.  They get up from the table and I see it happen immediately, he makes a half step in her direction and changes his mind.  He is walking behind his partner as they wander to the exit and I watch the young lady casually glance, wondering if he will look again… he does.  You can see it in his posture…he has to, just one more time.  He literally stops in the aisle, and turns and looks at her with more passion than you can normally find in an average persons life.  I can see what he is doing, he is remembering her face, he will always remember this moment and will pull it from his memory more often than you would imagine, for the rest of his life.  He knows he will probably never see her again, and has no idea when he will ever be in Austin again, but if he does; he will come back to this place and search for her again.  He will always long for another long lingering look from her.  He will come back here after all…he has already made up his mind as it's written all over his face.

I lean back in my chair and watched her watch him leave.  Her friend is literally screaming to go get him but that wasn’t what it was about.  They shared more in those looks than she could possibly hope for.  A connection was made and it touched them both.

I felt privileged to witness that type of occurrence, it was absolutely beautiful.  Of the two things I would wish for all my friends and family, the first would be to watch and pay attention as you never know what you are missing.  There is more to people watching if you are interested than you could possibly imagine.  The second would be that you all have the pleasure of enjoying a lifetime of long lingering looks…who knows what you will find in another persons eyes.

Matt Greer